Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Engaged Couples are like Ogres.

My best friend got married this past weekend. Now, when I say "best friend" I mean since middle school and when I say "got married" I mean she said "I Do" with the fairy-tale British man of her dreams also known as the love of her life. I could not be more happy for her. Courtney looked so incredibly happy. Her inner beauty showed through her and you could just feel the couple's love radiating off of them as they stood in front of their friends and family to make a life-long vow.

Because of this event and the Spring Term class I'm taking, I could take the opportunity to talk about Wedding Cake! The history and traditions of this cake have involved good fortune, prosperity, happiness, and fertility, as well as many other possible outcomes and beliefs. However, the modern day expectations of wedding cakes and weddings in general have gotten a little... ridiculous... in my opinion.

The reason I say that is because I too am currently engaged and planning a wedding but on an extremely tiny budget compared to the average wedding cost. If you take a look at what the most expensive part of wedding expenses is you will see that people spend some serious green on food. But why? Food is important to us as a society!

But you know what? I don't think people should walk away talking about the food---or the decorations, the dress, the entertainment, or anything other than the happy couple who just promised each other forever.

I don't want to give away too much personal information but basically my fiance and I only have at most $1,000 to spend in total on our wedding and honeymoon. This coming Wednesday marks our 5 year anniversary and a 365 day countdown until our wedding. To be completely honest, I'm stressed. We have even talked about eloping and getting it videotaped to show to everyone like this couple. The thing is, it just isn't our personality as a couple to have a big white wedding or a big fancy wedding cake. We are also a young couple, so we do not have the money to fulfill certain requests, suggestions, or expectations. Personally, I think people have forgotten about the importance of marriage and replaced it with the ideas associated with a picture perfect wedding. As a young adult planning for a wedding, the best advice I can give is: there is this 3 way tight rope you have to walk when planning your wedding that involves sharing the day with family and friends, taking in opinions (as EVERYONE will have one), and making your wedding a reflection of YOU as a couple--learn how to walk it ASAP. You see, I predict our wedding to be a backyard or do-it-yourself kind of wedding as we do want to spend our day with family and friends but do not want to go broke in the process. A bit of advice for those of you who may ever go to a wedding, don't go in with unreasonable expectations and keep in mind the couple who has invited you to be a part of the first day of their life together as a married couple.

The quote from Shrek about Ogres being like onions is why I titled this post "Engaged Couples are like Ogres." There are layers to an engaged or soon-to-be-married couple, so my advice is don't worry about the wedding on a surface level such as being different from the norm or like an onion's thin and papery surface layer. Whether a couple is having a themed wedding, a traditional wedding, or anything in between, sit down, shut up, and embrace the fact that you are indulging in the heart of their stinky onion love.


  1. I couldn't agree more, friend. Engaged couples are so like ogres! :) That being said, I definitely think the emphasis of the wedding should be the couple, and not the details like decor, flowers, or even food. I think the reason basically everyone has an opinion about wedding food and wedding cakes is that food is that important in our society. People want more than sustenance- they want an experience, and they see a wedding as an opportunity to have just that.

  2. This blog post makes me think instantly of the TV show "Four Weddings" on TLC. Weddings are expensive and the price that people spend on food is through the roof, but people feel like they often have something to prove by having the best wedding which includes the best dress, the best decor, and certainly the best FOOD! I agree with your post in so many ways and it only shows me more and more how we idolize food by making it a top priority to prove a point. You're right, it's not about the food, but sadly so many wedding guests walk away from the wedding festivities and the meal at the reception is their main talking point. It drives me insane when the bridezillas on Four Weddings judge each other’s food. The choice of food is completely a personal preference, but yet not meeting the expectations of others is an automatic downfall. We let food define us and the consequences of that have other implications such as forgetting about celebrating the love between two people and wishing them a lifetime of happiness. But then the question remains of how we take the focus of the food and redirect it to the vows and the “I Do’s.” It is such a tricky question… but I think the answer remains unknown. My only suggestion is to not have a reception so there is no way for food to play a role or to still have a reception, but only have one small cake, just enough for the bride and groom. That way you can still have a “traditional” reception, but use the cake as a symbol of love between the two people and when you smash the cake into each other’s face, make it intimate and bring it back to the love between the two people—use the cake to give people a focal point to remember the reasons why they are there. It’s hard to say if this would ever work, but maybe… :)